Inside the Minds of the Texans’ Offense: 2nd Down

(First down here).

GAME SITUATION: 2nd and 10, still on our own 12. Watson’s pass was incomplete, because of course it was; the official scorers have to flip a coin to determine who to put down as the intended target (the two DBs, one linebacker, and a referee who could’ve picked it off don’t count).  O’Brien calls the traditional two-back, two-TE dive play.

Out wide, DeAndre Hopkins is getting ready to dive into the path of a blitzing cornerback.  Of course the cornerback will be blitzing.  The entire defense will – O’Brien always calls this play in this situation.  He’s only got five plays; this is the one for 2nd-and-10.

Some Guy and Some Other Guy are crouched down where the tight ends go.  Who might it be this week?  As of this writing, Fiedorowicz, Anderson, and Griffin are all still in concussion protocol, so it’s anyone’s guess.  Mycole Pruitt?  Gary Barnidge?  Bill from Accounting?  Somebody’s got to line up there.  Maybe it’s Flounder.

Jay Prosch has managed to MacGyver his way out of the broom closet and into the formation.  Actually, it was less “MacGyvering” and more “turning the handle” – he kept trying to hit the door, but kept missing.

Lamar Miller is thinking about getting a degree in Comparative Religion.  He needs to know the names of some more gods, to pray to them that he won’t get obliterated when he takes the handoff.

Xavier Su’a-Filo, Kendall Lamm, Chris Clark, Nick Martin, and Breno Giacomini are all working on their Venus de Milo impersonations.

Deshaun Watson is beginning to suspect that Coach O’Brien’s playbook is written in Ancient Egyptian.  It’s easy to figure out once you know where the vowels go.

On the sideline, Tom Savage is thinking he should’ve transferred to three or four more colleges before entering the NFL draft.

Jaelen Strong, also on the sideline, is getting the munchies.  He’s actually been cut already, but things take a while to register with Jaelen.

Duane Brown, watching the game from his hot tub, is adding two or three zeroes to his contract demands.

Brock Osweiler is still in Denver, still third on the depth chart, still making more than any of the offensive linemen.

Up next: Third and Thirteen.

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