We all love football, but as we sit here waiting for the Texans to get blown off the field by the Patriots, we should remind ourselves: It’s only a game. Let me help. Imagine if Rick Smith actually ran something that mattered:
“Don’t bother campaigning in Wisconsin or Michigan, ma’am; they’re in the bag.” -Rick Smith to Hillary Clinton, 2016.
“Just grab it and pull. What’s the worst that could happen?” — Rick Smith to Justin Timberlake, 2004 (bonus Rick Smithiness for this one, as it actually happened in Houston).
“An all-online pet supply store? In 1998? We’d be stupid NOT to do this!” — Rick Smith to Wall Street, 1998.
“…and it tastes –Rick Smith to the CEO of Coca-Cola Inc., 1985. even better than before. Trust me, the kids will love it!”
“Best. Look. EVER.” — Rick Smith, 1976
“What’s the worst that could happen?” –Rick Smith to Lyndon Johnson, 1964.
“It’s just a fad. Say, what’s Frank Sinatra up to?” — Rick Smith to famous “continuity” advocate Bob McNair, 1956
“Invading Russia in the winter? What’s the worst that could happen?” — Rick Smith to the German High Command, 1941.
“Hook a left, dude; I know a shortcut.” — Rick Smith to Archduke Franz Ferdinand, 1914.
“Invade Russia in the winter? What’s the worst that could happen?” — Rick Smith to Napoleon, 1812.
“I’ll give you next year’s second round draft pick if you’ll take this tea off my hands.” –Rick Smith to Samuel Adams, 1773.
“We don’t renegotiate contracts with multiple years remaining.” — Rick Smith to Martin Luther, 1517.
“Ides of March? Dude, you’ll be fine.” –Rick Smith to Julius Caesar, 44 BC.
“Start a land war in Asia? What’s the worst that could happen?” –Rick Smith to Alexander the Great, 330 BC.
“Go ahead, take a bite. What’s the worst that could happen?”