Texans Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel

The Houston Comical, our beloved hometown newspaper of record back when newspapers were a thing, reports that the Texans worked out 11 players yesterday.  You’ve never heard of nine of them; the other two were QB Connor Shaw and defensive lineman Tyson Jackson, another first-round bust from LSU.  NBC reports that the Texans have signed “linebacker” (=one-dimensional pass rusher) Lamarr Houston and defensive end Kendall Langford.  Of the latter, NBC says

Langford appeared in 23 games for the Indianapolis Colts over the previous two season [sic] before being released in August.

The only interesting information in this snippet is that a supposedly professional sportswriter, who actually gets paid to write things for an honest-to-god “news” site, doesn’t know that, in English, nouns and verbs must agree in number.  “Seasons,” buddy — seasons.  One season, two seasons.  It’s really not that hard.

Signing defensive line depth is so obvious a move that even Rick Smith can’t screw it up too much, but working out Shaw shows some actual long-range thinking.  Tom Savage’s contract is up at the end of this season, and despite our front office’s love of “continuity” and his “knowledge” of our patented Extremely Complex Offense ™, Savage has worn out his welcome on the bayou.  Shaw probably isn’t any worse, and most likely cheaper, than Savage, and if Deshaun Watson misses time we’re screwed anyway, so signing him is a reasonable-to-decent move if it happens.

The other guys are the usual collection of no-names; the Comical’s report is, again, only interesting for what it reveals about “professional” sportswriters:

That included defensive linemen Tyson Jackson and Kendall Langford, outside linebacker [sic] Lamarr Houston and Jayrone Elliott, wide receivers River Cacraft and Paul Turner, offensive tackle Steven Moore and defensive backs J.R. Nelson and Marcus Sayles.

Why is number agreement so hard? Lamarr Houston is a linebacker.  Jayrone Elliott is a linebacker.  They are, together, linebackers.  Plural.  With an “s.”

It looks like news sites are scraping the bottom of the barrel, too.  Slap-happy incompetence all around — yep, that’s the Texans, all right.

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